Personal growth is never easy, but they say anything worth having is not easy. Over the past 6 months, I have learned quite a bit about myself; not all have been an easy lesson.
I know I do not like conflict, but I don’t know anyone who really loves it. Although I’m sure they are out there. I was pretty explosive as a teenager, but that did not serve me well. I tend to pull back and think before I speak, but then, many times, I “get over” whatever it was. My hurts, anger, and disappointments are pushed aside instead of dealing with them. My therapist says that I am like a squirrel, and each conflict, disappointment, or hurt is like an acorn. I gather them all up, and soon, I can’t hold them all, and they start dropping. This is unfair to me or anyone who may have something to do with one of those acorns. I never realized what holding all that emotion in has done to me. In essence, I have chosen other people’s feelings over my own. I have done this for so long that it is hard to change.
I’ve started this journey to a better me, and to be quite honest, becoming sober and working out has been the easy part. Changing how I think about things and react to them is much more challenging, but I am working on it.
So, this squirrel is going to stop collecting nuts!
Lisa H Calle's Blog 
Ever since you’ve been posting about your transformation i have been drawn to your every word. I have always admired your quilting ability but now I am blown away by your strength and determination. Thank you so much for sharing this – i’m sure it’s hard just putting it down in writing and you go the extra miles by clicking that button to share it with the world.
I see you and I’m applauding your every step
Thank you, Kelly. The past couple of weeks have been difficult and I’m sure i will share that in the coming weeks/months. I appreciate all the support I have gotten on my blog. My hope is that I can inspire/ help someone else that may be going through tough times. Make them realize they are not alone in their struggles.
hugs and blessings dear Lisa. ♥️
Lisa: You go girl! This post reminds me of my menopausal years when somebody said that the things you didn’t address well enough in your earlier years will insist on coming out now. One step at a time.
yes!!
The keeping the hurt, disappointment, angst, misery sounds like 35+ years of my life. Suicide became an option. I worked my way out with a good therapist and a dear friend who was there beside me with honest help. You can do this. You’re smart, kind, and thoughtful. Be TRUE to your authentic self and will see your way through. I’m very serious about Virginia not being far away. If you need a friend who doesn’t know or need to know the back story, I can be there or we have a guest room that can be a getaway from pressure. I care about you
Thank you Linda! I know I will be fine just have to keep working my way through things. ❤️
Thanks for sharing …. Life is a journey and lots of it is hard but it sounds to me like your pulling through well…. And I’m guessing much of what you have expressed resonates with other readers too… helping lots through their journey!
When we are trying to change our ingrained behaviors, at first it takes conscious effort, but the more you stick with it, the easier it becomes, and then the new behaviors become our norm. It’s not easy, but you sound as though you’re determined to succeed! I think acknowledging that we need to change is the biggest, hardest thing to do, and you’ve already done that successfully! Congratulations! We’re all rooting for you!
I am determined for sure. I find that it is baby steps a lot of the time but as long as I keep moving forward.
For sure! Good luck!
wow Lisa, with each letter you share more and more of a journey that is an ispiration [even more than your quilting!] to keep going, keep chipping away at the “shell” around my heart, and reach down in to my “real” self. way to go girl, , try to love yourself aloaoong the way, the journey will be amazing
Thank you!
Hi Lisa. I so relate to the squirrel analogy! And even more so to your comment that “changing how you THINK about things and react to them” is even harder than getting sober & working out. I wrote down a quote on an index card that resonates with me but, sadly I don’t know who said it. “All growth begins with vulnerable humility that stops us from lamenting where we SHOULD be and allows God to show us where we really ARE so that He can take us where He wants us to be” (and I will add… where we really want to go). Thank you for sharing your vulnerable humility. Enjoy the journey! JN