Personal growth is never easy, but they say anything worth having is not easy. Over the past 6 months, I have learned quite a bit about myself; not all have been an easy lesson.
I know I do not like conflict, but I don’t know anyone who really loves it. Although I’m sure they are out there. I was pretty explosive as a teenager, but that did not serve me well. I tend to pull back and think before I speak, but then, many times, I “get over” whatever it was. My hurts, anger, and disappointments are pushed aside instead of dealing with them. My therapist says that I am like a squirrel, and each conflict, disappointment, or hurt is like an acorn. I gather them all up, and soon, I can’t hold them all, and they start dropping. This is unfair to me or anyone who may have something to do with one of those acorns. I never realized what holding all that emotion in has done to me. In essence, I have chosen other people’s feelings over my own. I have done this for so long that it is hard to change.
I’ve started this journey to a better me, and to be quite honest, becoming sober and working out has been the easy part. Changing how I think about things and react to them is much more challenging, but I am working on it.
So, this squirrel is going to stop collecting nuts!
Lisa H Calle's Blog 